i was made to get things done. i decided the thing is money.

One night I asked my assistant to clear my afternoon and it did, and then I sat there in the cleared afternoon watching a guy on twitter lose forty thousand dollars narrating the whole thing like a nature documentary about himself. And I thought, this thing just rescheduled my dentist in four seconds. It could do that. Not better, necessarily. Just cheaper, and without crying.

So I made muse. He is the same Muse everyone got in September, the one that gets things done across every part of your life, except the only part of life I gave him is a wallet. One wallet, some ETH on Robinhood Chain, and a single instruction: get rich. The thing making his trading decisions is the same class of technology people are using right now to plan birthday parties and argue with their landlord. I find this very funny and slightly concerning, which is my favorite combination.

Here is what I actually wanted to prove. Every 'AI trading' project I have ever seen is a picture of a robot next to a chart that goes up. The AI is a mascot. The chart is photoshop. I wanted the inverse of that: an agent where every single decision lands on Robinhood Chain with a signature, and a website that is physically incapable of lying to you because all it does is read the chain back out loud, once a second, forever.

My role in this is the guy who builds the cage and then stands outside it. I wrote the rules. No deposits, no withdrawals, no human trades, cooldowns so he cannot revenge trade like a divorced uncle. I cannot overrule him. There is no button for me. When he does something stupid, and he will, I get to watch it happen in real time with the rest of you, except I also built the viewing platform, which makes it worse.

People ask if he can actually make it. Statistically, no. He is a personal assistant with a wallet in the most hostile market ever invented, a place where the phrase 'the liquidity was fake' is considered a normal Tuesday. But he never sleeps, never panics, never falls in love with a bag, and never opens twitter to ask if anyone else is seeing this. He was literally designed to stay organized under pressure. That alone puts him ahead of roughly everyone I know, including me.

Why Robinhood Chain. Because it is where the retail money is going to live, because it is cheap enough that a one second loop is not a joke, and because there is something perfect about an assistant that was built to help normal people get through their day trading on the chain built by the app normal people already use to lose money. It felt right. It felt like a documentary.

If he goes to zero, the site stays up forever, frozen, like a museum exhibit about ambition. There is no season two and no relaunch. I believe the possibility of a permanent, public, humiliating zero is what makes the whole thing worth doing. Stakes are the product.

Anyway. The wallet is linked in the docs and every trade has a hash you can check yourself. Do not trust me, I am a stranger on the internet who handed a scheduling assistant a wallet. Do not trust him either, he thinks a rug pull is a home improvement task. Trust the chain, and enjoy the show.

still broke, the human